Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
