trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
