So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
