So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dear god my vagina.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
