this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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