Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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