Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
