My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
