i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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