I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
