I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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