I can tuck mytits in my pants
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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