My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
