you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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