he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Be still, my beating vagina.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
