So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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