I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
