they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
