grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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