How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
