erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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