I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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