dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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