I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i think i just lost a toe
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
