i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
