Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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