i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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