that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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