how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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