I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
