When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
