My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
