White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm too high and old for this...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
