Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
