i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
