I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
