apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
