don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
