Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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