I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
