the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
