the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Let's paint friendship bongs
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
