I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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