Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you mean i was at the winter classic?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
