i don't like sucking hair
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
