So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
