How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
