oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
