I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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