how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
