just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Randomize
