Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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