Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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